Our first episode of this new season has come and gone, and brought with it every staple of the series imaginable. So, first up: the limos. Highlights of the men emerging from them include:
Former pro quarterback Jordan, a.k.a. the brother of Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. He was quick to point out that his parents got engaged only a few months after they met, and have been married for 36 years.
Will comically brought note cards to read from during his introduction to JoJo, but he dropped them on the ground and mixed them up. Staged, but slick.
Jonathan wore a kilt, while Nick B. who was dressed as Santa Claus.
Wells, a radio DJ, was accompanied by the R&B group All-4-One, who sang their hit “I Swear,” noted right here last week.
Luke rode in on a “unicorn” -- a white horse with a “horn” on its head. Sadly, this too was noted right here last week.
Let's take a closer look at the boys:
Robby, 27. Robby’s job was listed, curiously, as “former competitive swimmer." Plus he brought a bottle of wine and chugged it. Keeper or what?
Alex, 25.Alex is a U.S. Marine who has a twin brother and lots of arm tattoos. His first interaction with JoJo was fairly intense. Maybe too much so.
Will, 26. He dropped the cards, remember?
Chad, 28. The resident luxury real estate agent.
Daniel, 31. He interrupted JoJo mid-sentence to kiss her on the cheek. That's all you need to know so far.
Ali, 27. I know more about Ali's surgeon and dentist siblings at this point.
James Taylor, 29. James Taylor walked up playing guitar (ya know, like his namesake). A fellow Texan, James can’t get over how JoJo is “way more prettier than on TV.” The only thing missing was the "shucks."
Jonathan, 29. Jon showed up in a kilt, as I mentioned. That is the kind of thing you mention twice though. Half-Chinese and half-Scottish, he assured JoJo that he is “half-Scottish below the waist.” Not kidding.
Saint Nick, 33. Santa himself, who truly can only go up from here.
Jordan, 27. The aforementioned Aaron Rodgers’ little brother. He pretty much gets a rose automatically for TV ratings.
Derek, 29. Somehow, he managed to compliment JoJo on her “good sense of self."
Grant, 28. Grant’s a firefighter who realized at a young age that he liked helping people who were in a bad spot.
James F., 34. James F. owns a boxing club. He said something about coming to the show for a relationship and not a rose, and JoJo completely bought it.
Chase, 27. Just a guy with a mustache.
Jake, 27. Jake is an architect. That is all.
Sal, 28. He hands JoJo two blue stress balls and gives her permission, when she’s stressed, to squeeze his balls. Will Joey Tribiani have a shot? Stay tuned!
Coley, 27. Coley’s another one we didn’t see much of at all.
Brandon, 28. He’s a hipster.
James S., 27. When someone’s job is “Bachelor superfan” and his watch parties consist of literally three people, how promising can he truly be?
Nick S., 26. Suited and doing splits.
Vinny, 28. He’s a barber named Vinny, and he hid a piece of toast in his jacket the entire time.
Peter, 26. Peter showed up with a massive heart and told JoJo, “I want to be your Man Crush Monday.” Somehow, it worked.
We've got a long way to go til we get to two men standing. But it'll be here before you know it. In the meantime, check out the Bachelorette odds to win at BookMaker.eu.
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